280911 Rainy. Outing for Stella's birthday. T'was 10PM

Before I was in the city walking down Little Lonsdale to get some of that fresh rainy air in to my system, a lady sitting on her suitcase said hello. Me being nice, I stopped and said hello as well. She proceeded to tell me that she was a psychic and she could tell me something about me. I was suspicious and I had a feeling that she was going to ask me for money, and no surprise here, she did. I stayed cause I knew I had some change, if I didn't I would have been long gone plus it was night, rainy and my damp feet contributed to feeling sorry. Well, she told me that I was a kind and calm person and it was going to be all good in this life and I will achieve my life goals so I should raise them a little higher, that this life will be good, but the life in the next life will be even better. I also asked for my hand to be read, this is what she said about my lifeline on my right hand: confusion about life in my earlier years, something about a pretty normal good life with little worries here and there and in my later years I will become spiritual plus living another 20-40 years. My sister came and picked me up, I told her about it and she told me that it's most likely to fake or something, cause it's 'so generic' and psychics that come up to me offering to read my palm or anything should not be charging me for it. I'm kind of glad my sister said that cause then what that lady said is basically destiny. I don't want to believe everything is based on destiny and fate because that'll mean I don't have full control of my life. So, say that this life I was suppose to be failure and be an alcoholic, and I wasn't able to change that because I was 'destined' to be one. It's like having options for you to choose but you're only allowed to chose that specific one. Not really an option is it now? I don't know, I don't believe in destiny. Reading this, I could improve so much but I'm tired. So whatever lol.

036

You say you love rain,
but you open your umbrella when it rains.
You say that you love the sun,
but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines.
You say that you love the wind,
but you close your windows when the wind blows.
This is why I am afraid, you say that you love me too.

- William Shakespeare

The amount of times I write something but I don't publish it or I want to say or do something but I don't. People always say "Don't worry about what they think about you, just do what you want to do" or similar. It's funny because, although so many people keep saying it, everyone is always conscience of what others perceive of them. I could elaborate, persuade and argue why it does ultimately matter but... too tired.

I think it's safe to genuinely say, I don't like any one at the moment. I can finally sleep, think straight, do things productively without something on my mind distracting me and etc. But now, I feel so emotionally dead.

Isn't it strange to think, that you could be the last person on someone's mind before they fall asleep?

I wonder how that feels, to know that you are the last thing on someone's mind.

035

Hell is empty,

And all the devils are here.

- William Shakespeare

Lol my mum said that she can't sleep at night without giving me a cup of warm milk. Ahaha :')